Here it is. Share it and listen to it.
Also, I'm quite tired, having been turned away from the Just the Tonic party last night, I felt quite despondent. So I self-harmed with KFC. I had a large fries and a Healthy Option wrap. Which at the time made me feel like more of a twat than is basically necessary. Because if you self-harm with food, you at least take a bucket of chicken. But I had the healthy option. Twat. Then I decided to eat the entirity of a packet of Hobnobs. This is how I deal with defeat.
When starting on my self-pitying meal deal, the great James Hamilton of Casual Violence renown recognised what was going on and immediately laughed in my face. This is an unusual form of fellow-feeling but oddly, it made me feel a whole lot better. I'm a sucker for punishment. After a while my friend Diane phoned me, and told me I shouldn't feel like such a dick about it. That helped.
Today is again a day off for me, no 5 Step Guide to Being German, which is manic every day. I've met the oddest people, including German comedy deity Ingolf Lück. No, me neither. But still v happy about that. Also, for most of the day I was coasting on the joy that the gig on Saturday had given me. My next appearances may be at the storytelling festival on the 15th where I will talk about my breakdown using jokes. I may also do Comedy Car Crash if I feel like I need more punishment.
Also, I've been getting known on the Royal Mile and environs as 'That twat in the hoodie who runs everywhere'. This is true. I love running around Edinburgh. Yesterday, I was running from St Andrews Square, near the RBS HQ (evil corporation I used to work for in 2008. For my sins), to Princess St. Suddenly, a 9 year old boy (or something. I didn't frisk him for his ID) started running alongside me. We sprinted for about 100 metres, going pretty much the same speed, until my way was blocked by an old lady, so I congratulated the small boy on his victory. But still, I'm 6 foot 4. I have way more wind resistance. So I still win. Bad luck 9 year old boy! Bad luck!
So even though I had that thing happen to me last night, on the whole, I'm feeling pretty good about myself. That's a change. Let me read now. xxx
P.S. LISTEN TO THE PODCAST!