Wednesday, 1 September 2010

Post # 2: Aphorisms and Buckaroos (encircle correct answer)

So... erm... yeah. Here I am, crawling back again. After only a day. A day! Just couldn't let it lie, could I? No. Weakness. That's what that is.

Today, I actually spent some time with other people.

Why are you looking so surprised?

It wasn't weird or anything.

No, it honestly wasn't! You freak! What are you thinking?

Today, I spent some futile hours of my already spent life in a business park. Temping. Now, I'm not a newcomer to temping (and there might be some good nightmare temping stories still to come (really? good? Shut up!)) and some of the jobs I had over the last 4 years were actually quite nice. They were! But I'd grown a bit tired of another summer temping (and Edinburgh) and felt like I just needed late September to arrive quicker. But alas, we haven't got the what? The what? The wh-wh-wh-whaat? (whicky, whicky) Hmm? Pecunia? De l'argent? Cash? Money? Other equally unimpressive and embarrassing synonyms? Yes. The need for some money to buy a plane ticket to the UK has caused me to spend several hours in the company of some other people. In a business park. Temping. Again.

As usual in these situations, I knew none of the people there. Which is a nice way of feeling like you've connected with the world rather than selfishly grazing off the capitalist meadow of plenty and disappointment. Which of course I was.

There also seems to be an unwritten rule that people would gladly share their most personal secrets with a stranger rather than to themselves in a mirror. At some point, people started (in the nicest possible way) to pontificate (not a nice verb, but it was all very friendly/agreeable and, like I said, nice. Why won't you people believe me?) their motto (better: credo) on their life (even better: aphorism, or maxim. The last one was actually a bit worse). This has happened to me a couple of times before (all, ironically, while temping), that people have in some way, managed to fit their life into a pithy statement, which automatically tells everything one wants to know about that person. It's genius. It reminds me of some of the best I've heard from those people in temping positions (FX: list-show type music on crappy early nineties radio program. Possibly something with bludgeons. Yes, that would work).

At number 3: I Like Tits.

Coming in at number 2: I Like To Think Of Myself As A Thinker. Oh! Have You Heard Tiesto's New Record?

And the killer: The Meaning Of Life Is For Me To Enjoy It.

I know. Stupid. But understandably stupid. Temping is nothing if not demeaning slave-labour set out by lovely agencies with only the most sincere intentions, enthusiasm and the standard minimum wage.

This was nice, as I today thought of one of these stupid maxim's of my own. I'm a firm believer in the maxim:

You Can Never Be Right. But You CAN Be Wrong.


Yes, he's gone bonkers. And it's only post two! What can we do now? Should we save him? This is ridiculous! What a ludicrous concept! How could someone in their right mind come up with this crap? AAH!!! 

I understand you, dear readers. It sounds shit. I know. But let me explain.


P.S. Thank you for reading! I hope this'll still count as the August 31st blog. Though it might not. Ah well (there we are). Who-hoo!

1 comment:

  1. Great Stuff,
    Cant wait to read about the fall
    (just joking, i reckon it will be a beautiful ascent towards the sky)